358,560 minutes

You know what I just noticed, every post has the same font except one, the one about labor and delivery. Weird, don't know how I did that, but I really don't care. It's actually kind of cool. I mean, if any post deserves to be special and a little bit different, it gets to be that one.

So today, my Baby Girl laughed for the first time, or so I'm told. I wasn't there. I was in class. It really hurt that I wasn't there for that milestone. It just like, I'm here mother and I wasn't there and I should've been. It was a little bit of a kick in the gut. It made me wonder if I was being selfish for going to school, and wanting to work. Am I going to be there enough for her? Is she going to someday resent me for never being home? How many other things in her life am I going to miss out on by not being a stay at home mom.

But the thought of just staying home makes me want to cry. I don't think I have the patience or sanity to do that everyday. And I don't know what I would do without school or work, or some form of getting away and having other responsibilities. It's what's keeping me sane right now. It's what makes me happy, but so does Gabrielle.

I changed the blog background. Everyone else was changing them due to Halloween, and I'd been getting bored of my old one so I decided to change it. But it was a hassle. I've changed many backgrounds many times, comes from being fickle and having 3 blogs, but none of the other times that I've changed blogs has it been any trouble. I don't know what blogger's problem was this time around, but somehow, eventually I fixed it. Oh the cleverness of me!

I know it's not really Halloween-y, seeing as there isn't any bats or pumpkins, and there is no color orange anywhere (I hate the color orange, by the way). But it is black, and dark, and therefore more Halloween-y than blue with silver swirls. And this way I don't have to change it right after the 31st, it'll still look okay if I get lazy. Hey, and it has red, does that mean I can claim that it is Christmas-y too?

Also I am so proud of myself, I used Photoshop. Normally I use Digital Image Pro because I'm more familiar with it, and in my opinion it's more user friendly. And I know it doesn't do as many cool things as Photoshop, but I've never needed to do the cool, extra things, all I do is fairly basic stuff. But we leant Digital Image Pro to my sis-in-law, and meanwhile our poor computer crashed. (Ah, that was a very panicked day in this household, with a certain male's life under threat. But said male managed to fix the computer and live to see another day. Oh, and he will want me to mention that he is amazing for reviving the dead computer.) And we haven't gotten Digital Image Pro back from sis-in-law yet, so I don't have it on my computer, and have been learning how to use Photoshop.

For this post's picture it is the background, so you just get to enjoy the beauty of my background and my cleverness.

295,200 minutes

So today was my first day of school with Baby. I was so excited to get back to school. I love school, yes I know that makes me crazy and weird. But it works, since I want to be a professional student. I'm taking a smaller course load, and I think it's a good amount. Enough that I get out of the house enough to preserve my sanity and I get to feel like I'm doing something I love. Yes, I love Gabrielle, but I'm just not the type to do that day in and day out. And yes, in a few weeks I will be complaining about school and the time and hard work and frustrating professors, but in the midst of my complaining I always know that it's what I want.

Anyways, I was on the bus riding up to campus, and I was just so happy. You get to see some familiar faces, like the alibino girl. I don't know her name, the newspaper did an article on her and her brother, apparently albino twins are really rare, so I should know her name but I don't. She has the coolest pale white hair that goes all the way down her back. Also on the bus is all the freshman, they're easy to pick out, looking nervous, lost and asking directions from anyone who looks like they know what their doing. The A-team was out on Blue Bikes today with little flags so answer question and give directions. Their flags said they would give you candy if you asked a question. It's a good idea, poor A-team that it was raining all day, I hope they didn't get too cold. I was thinking, well I know I've been here three years but I'm sure I could think up some question to get candy. I didn't ask a question.

Baby got to come with me to O Chem today. When JP switches over the Head Guard duties next week, the scheduling is supposed to work out better, but we'll just have to deal with it for this week. Unfortunately she was fussy the whole class, so I had to stand in the back and rock her so she would be quiet. I missed about fifteen minutes while she was busy screaming, where I tried to shush her outside (not outside the building but outside the class). I don't think it mattered so much since the teacher just went over the syllabus. Yeah, he took a whole 50 minutes to go over the syllabus. I don't understand teachers going over syllabi, they handed it to us, and we're college students, we should be able to read the syllabus on our own. But apparently there is some mandate that teachers need to go over the syllabus. This is probably due to the fact that most students aren't responsible to read the thing on their own, though they should be, and then they will go whining to the teacher about how they didn't know. These students will still whine about how they didn't know, but I guess teachers feel better about saying, "Sucks to be you, it was in the syllabus and I went over it at the start of the class." So teachers read the syllabus to us on the first day of class. I just wish more teachers went over it in ten minutes, answered questions and then went on to lecturing.

After class I had to go pick up some last minute supplies at the Bookstore, I know on the first day of classes, I'm a fool. I thought I'd gotten most of them before, but new supplies kept popping up. My most exciting purchase was a lab coat (I got to pick inbetween a size 6, 16 or 49, go figure), a dissecting knife, and a scalpel.

I wanted to take a picture of Baby by the A, but it was cold and she was not happy so I decided that probably wasn't a good idea. But look what else I got from the bookstore instead!

Yes, I'm pretty sure I just violated something by putting my baby in a bag.

So that was my first day of school, I survived, and I did it on 4 hours of sleep.

246,240 minutes

I had a baby!! I'm pretty cool, and she is so cute! On Wednesday the 15th JP noticed that my belly was tight and hard. We'd been told to look out for that since at the last doctor's appointment I'd dilated to a 4 and was 75% effaced without having felt much. Well we monitored (or JP monitored since I wasn't feeling hardly anything) my belly for the next hour or so and my belly stayed hard and tight. So we went to the hospital and got there at about midnight. Well sure enough that tight hardness was contractions and I was having them 2-3 minutes apart, or so says the machine, and they looked pretty big too, even though the machine isn't an accurate measure of intensity. I had also dilated to a 6 and was 90% effaced.

Waiting at the hospital

My motivation in the Labor & Delivery room. Little things like epidurals, spaces between contractions. Someday hospital gowns that are decent...

Go contractions! They're the blue lines, the red one is Baby's hearbeat.

So this was the real deal. But they told me that is was my doctor's day off! I was so upset; I absolutely loved my doctor and wanted her to deliver. However she got back on at 7:00 in the morning, so I hoped that I could still get her to deliver. So we waited and we walked around the hospital some, at about 2:00 am I feel asleep, and then I woke up at 5:00 am (It's a little hard to sleep 'cause you're still pregnant, uncomfortable and needing to pee, and they keep coming in to take your vitals). I looked at the machine and noticed that when I'd fallen asleep I'd relaxed enough that the contraction monitors had flat lined. Eek! I'd stopped having contractions; also I hadn't dilated or effaced anymore so what now? Well, at this point I'd gotten excited and I didn't want to go home. I was a little bit nervous too, if I'd dilated so far without feeling anything, what if I went home and accidentally dilated the rest of the way later without feeling anything and didn't make it to the hospital? So we took a few more laps around the Labor & Delivery section and my contractions started back up! But when I rested too long then they would go away. The nurses didn't think I should go home though either since I was already dilated so far, and simply walking started them back up, I'd probably just be back later that day. So it was decided that the doctor would break my water. I'd said before I went to the hospital that I would be okay with that if I was a 6 or more, and I was, since water breaking at a 6 is not unusual or unnatural.

At 7:30-8:00ish Dr. Kirkman came in, not my doctor yet (and so sad he was the only guy that got to do any vaginal stuff throughout the whole pregnancy, I'd been trying so hard to avoid that. Not to mention he was the only doctor I hadn't met yet, go figure). I hadn't dilated or effaced any more, and he broke my water. That was weird, I had no idea he was going to do it right then, and it was warm, which wasn't what I expected, though it makes sense. Well after that I started having contractions again, and I could feel them! It wasn't a lot of feeling, rather mild and not super painful, but I was pretty excited that I could actually feel something. How naive am I!

Sometime later at about 9:30 I started to really feel them. And they hurt. Bad! I had never felt anything remotely close to that, and I was completely blown away by how intense it felt. Well I wanted some pain med pretty soon after that. I couldn't handle it. I'd had no idea what to expect, but it certainly wasn't anything in that spectrum. JP encouraged me to try a little bit, no he's not a complete jerk, he'd been instructed to do so, but at the time I was pretty upset with him. Didn't he have any idea how bad this felt? So we walked a little while, some hugs and massages and trying different positions. But I still wanted that epidural and soon. It hurt and I didn't care about much else, and I was getting really frustrated at JP and his encouragement. So I got my epidural.

Actually the contractions got better in between the time I called for the epidural and when I got it. Partly because of the mental reasons, I could look forward to relief sometime soon, and partly the really did get a little less intense, but the still hurt. My guess it that's when I was about that 8 cm range and going through transition. But it still hurt. And I was so exhausted and nauseous. Ah, wonderful, sweet, blessed epidural! I was so lucky I got such a good epidural. It took away the pain evenly and it didn't completely numb me. I could still feel pressure, just not pain associated with it. And I could move just fine, nobody believed me but I could. It was easy to move my legs, they felt heavy but it was no difficulty to move them at all.

Well it didn't take long from then until I was dilated and effaced all the way. So they declared that I was to rest, try to sleep and get some energy, and let the baby descend for an hour and I would start pushing at 1:00 pm. They said pushing for with an epidural could take anywhere from 1 to 3 hours and I would need my energy. Well at 1:00 I started pushing, with a nurse and JP coaching. JP slipped back into coach mode, which worked really well for me. The nurse was amazed at how well I could push and also how well JP coached. She said I was a champion and they wanted to hire JP. So at 1:30ish the baby was sufficiently crowning and the called my doctor in. Yes I actually got my doctor. I was so ecstatic over that. I watched the baby crown, that was pretty cool, and it was good motivation to keep going. The first thing I saw on her head is that it had dark hair and I was so happy that she had hair. I'd been hoping for that. I would've liked to have gone a little slower since I felt like I was stretching beyond my capacity and ripping. (What do you know, I was, I just wasn't hurting then so I wasn't really concerned.)

Once the delivery process got underway I didn't get to watch anymore, there were too many people in the way for me to see the mirror. Well once they told me to push to delivery it only took like 2 contractions (I think, I don't remember too much, I was too tired) and a few pushes and she was out. They handed her to me, she was so cute. I wish I could've gotten a little more time and a better look, but they whisked her away pretty soon. I think it was because I tore (albeit minorly, a 1st degree, I have no idea what that means other than it's the smallest degree of a tear) and they needed to stitch me up. So I delivered the world's longest umbilical cord, (the doctor and nurse kept being amazed at how long it was) and the placenta and got stitched up they cleaned up baby and did all that stuff. I can't say much about that since I wasn't able to see any of that. So I officially delivered her at 1349 on July 17, 2009, she weighed 5lbs 6oz (truthfully 5.8oz but they called it 6) and was 18in long.

Not happy with the first moments of life. Don't worry Baby it's not fun on either end.

Getting weighed. 5lbs 5.8oz

Look at that sad little face, still not happy with life. Her eyes are all squinty from the antibiotics they put in them.

Cute precious little baby!

Our little family.

Eventually they handed her back to me, I tried to feed her some, and then they took me up to my recovery room. They didn't get to bath her in my room, so I didn't get to watch, because they had too many other babies being born that day. I was going to cry about that one. JP bathed her in the nursery, and then they took her blood and gave her the Hep B vaccination. Well they finally came back and she is the cutest thing ever!

Dad giving her the first bath. Poor baby, just one unhappy thing after another.

All clean, with fuzzy hair.

The little saying in my Recovary room, I though it was funny that they kind of matched.

Daddy's girl, has to sleep with her hands up by her face and her eyes covered. See even the nurses had issues keeping those Houdini arms swaddled up.

Well that was the big day, than we just stayed and tried to recover. She did have some trouble staying warm so they had to take her to the nursery for a while to sit under the heating lamps; it was hard to leave her. I cried. And when she came back they double wrapped her in blankets. She also got a lot of test done, they had to test the car seat to make sure that tiny her could still get enough oxygen sitting in it, and they tested her bilirubin and her hearing. She apparently failed the hearing test, so we have to go back. I'm not too worried though since she does respond to sound, and the nurse said that 3 babies right before her failed too so they think the machine might be broken. We left the next day at like 8:00pm and came home where my mom and little sis helped us out for the next couple of days, especially since JP had to leave on Saturday.

My Mom and little sis came up to help me out.

We went to the doctor for her follow up 5 day appointment on Monday, the 20th. She'd dropped weight and was down to 5lbs 1oz (and I didn't think she could get any tinier) however the doctor said it was okay, and normal, especially for a first time mom, and that she was healthy and fine, but to just follow up in a few days (Thursday) with a weight check to make sure that she didn't lose any more and that by then she should be starting to gain the weight back.

So now we are just home, sleeping, eating, changing diapers, and slowly recovering. I can't get over how absolutely adorable and precious she is, or how tiny. She is so sweet, and I feel so blessed to have her. I am also very grateful for the ease of my pregnancy and delivery. Like the doctor said, I was built to have babies, lucky me. Yeah, I am so amazing. (Note: Both still suck, but I had it way better than most.) Maybe if I don’t get into med school, I’ll just hire myself out as a surrogate mother for a living. Just kidding, I’d like to not be pregnant or so tubby for a little while. It’s actually hard for me to not exercise right now to try and get rid of the leftover weight and tummy. Though when I do try to sit up or anything like that it’s so hard and my abs just give out on me and tell me that they just can’t do that. And I’m still sorer than I thought possible. So that’s the story of how my beautiful baby came to be. She is the sweetest thing ever.

41,760 minutes

Strawberry Pie that JP and I made. As you can see, it goes really fast. 

40,320 minutes

JP spoiled me and bought me an exercise ball. On the weekends the campus closes way early so we can't go workout up there, so I was just working out at home, following some work out plan in the magazine, Pregnancy. (Magazine curtosy of the doctor's office.) Supposedly, it's a workout designed by the trainer of Halle Berry and Jessica Alba, similar to what they used when they were pregnant to workout, and right after to go back to looking so skinny again. We'll see, don't expect me to have a celebrity body. But JP noticed that there was a section I was skipping because I didn't have an exercise ball, so he surprised me and bought me one. Isn't he so sweet, just got to love him.

38,880 minutes

Yay! We went to Brian Regan tonight. He is an amazing, and clean, comedian. JP and I love him, we laughed so hard. We originally had to buy seats that were two rows apart, but then the theater didn't sell the seat next to JP, because the view was supposedly blocked. We decided that we didn't think the view was that bad, so we stole it, and left my seat empty, and managed to seat together. 

Oh, and just an update, some guy came buy today, and asked if he could take the trunks left over from the trees and use them since he has a wood burning stove. I told him I wasn't the landlord, and it was the city who did they chopping, but I was all for him to take it. So he said he would call the city, and he wound up taking the wood. Hallulujah, I was getting so sick of the leftover, poor sad dead tree sitting in front of the house. However the city has yet to finish it's end of cleaning up. They said that they would pulls out the stumps and replant some trees. Nope we still have ugly stumps and sawdust on our lawn. Yes, I'm grumbling and not happy with losing the trees.

37,440 minutes

Remember that pile of branches from a few days ago? Apparently that wasn't enough for the city. They decided to chop down both of our trees. And yes, once again they just left the trunk lying there. I'm a little upset. I liked the trees, and can't they at least clean up after themselves? And they didn't cut down the tree today, they cut it down a couple days ago, but the leftover mess is still just sitting there. 

36,000 minutes

Once again, I'd forgotten to take a picture most of the day. So here is a picture of my leftover spaghetti I'm about to it. I always wake up in the middle of the night absolutetly starving. But I've found that if I eat right before I go to bed, especially if it's high in carbs I'm sleep better and I can sleep a little longer before I have to wake up. So this is my pre-bedtime meal. I know it's backwards of everything doctors and mothers tell you to do to be healthy and to get a good night's rest, not to mention the Atkin's people would cry if they saw my diet. But if works for me, and I get a little bit extra sleep.

34,560 minutes

JP finally succeeded in getting me to work out and be semi-healthy. It did take bribery, I get ice cream, okay not just ice cream but Aggie ice cream, after I work out for a week, which kind of counteracts the working out, but I'm not complaining. So we went to the Fieldhouse to run/walk on the treadmills and use some of the machines, and almost every other treadmill had an out of order sign on it. It was really frustrating, because then there wasn't any empty machines. I think they should spend more time fixing the machines than creating pretty laminated out-of-order signs.

33,120 minutes

So apparently, this is what the city does in it's free time, trims trees  so they don't get in the way of the power lines, and then just leaves piles of branches on people's lawn. Wasn't that so nice of them?

31,680 minutes

This is my box of baby stuff so far. Yay for free stuff and coupons. So far I have a changing pad, one newborn diaper, a sample of diaper cream, a rattle/teething toy, a baby foot cookie cutter, one bottle, one two year old t-shirt, a health keepsake book to keep track of doctor's visits, and a host of coupons. 

30,240 minutes

I finally had to break down and do it. I was so sick of uncomfortable, way to tight clothes, so I decided that it was time. Ugh, clothes shopping, I hate to spend so much money, and maternity clothes are never as cheap as normal clothes, and they tend to be excessively frilly and scream, "I'm pregnant." But I was so grateful and happy to have clothes that fit and felt nice. Best present to myself ever. So here's a list of what's in the bag: three pairs of pants, two jeans and one pair of khakis, three blouses, two undershirts, one black and one white, one plain black skirt and one swimsuit. I don't think I did too bad, or was completely frivolous. It's a fairly basic wardrobe for the next few months.

28,800 minutes

Okay, I forgot to take a picture today, and I was tired. So here is a picture of me JP took, as you can see, I was trying to go to bed.

27,360 minutes

Okay, so I was running out of things to take a picture of. So there is a story behind this picture. So I woke up early this morning, and I decided to put the dishes in the dishwasher and start it, to make JP happy for once, since I hate cleaning. Well I get home later, and he starts talking about how he did the dishes, again. I was like, wait, you didn't do them, I did, and you were supposed to notice that I finally did them. Apparently my idea didn't work, and he had just redone all the dishes. 

25,920 minutes

So I saw this is the Ag Science building while I was hanging up posters so I took some pictures of it. The second picture is to show that yes, it is a cupboard under the stairs. I laughed so hard when I saw it. 

24,480 minutes

The most beautiful sign. Seriously, the two best phrases in the world are "class is cancelled" and "the homework assignment's due date is postponed," which I got to read in the email later from the teacher. Yeah! Thank you for small favors and tender mercies. 

I walked into the Engineering building (to attend said class above) and randomly I see there is a giant blow up slide. Unfortunately they were still blowing it up, and I didn't have time to wait, even though class had been cancelled, so I didn't actually slide down it. Sad.

23,040 minutes

This is what my mom made us for Christmas. It's cute, I'm so proud of my mom, she's so cool. Now it is hanging in our front room.  I think it's funny that you can see JP and I in the reflection.

21,600 minutes

So, for the weekend we visited my family. When we visit, we get to stay in my old room, which has now been taken over by my little sister. This picture doesn't quite accurately depict the scariness of her decoration choice. My camera kept trying to adjust the color and all that. But think bright pepto bismal pink, with a bit of orange thrown in. 

20,160 minutes

Yep, it's valentine's day so it is pictures of roses. The pretty roses JP gave me, there was three, and some good-smelling, leafy things. But it just gets to be pictures of the one. Pretty roses that smell so good. Thanks JP, I love you!

18,720 minutes

It being the day before Valentine's, and since I had a lab today I wanted to take a picture of a human heart in the cadaver lab. But apparently out of respect to the cadavers there is no pictures allowed. Understandable. However, a picture of my friend at her reception that night will have to do. This is the beautiful Alexa, caught cuddling with her fiance, now husband, while they watch their wedding video. No, her arm is not funny looking, she just always stands with her hand on her hip. So this one has to go first, 'cause this is actually my picture for the day, I actually took this one.

Obviously I didn't take this one. That is adorable little Emma Pieper. She and her sister are such cute, smiling babies. Oh and enjoy the picture of me, if I can help it, there will be as little of me as possible.The bride and the baby. I think she has Paisley Pieper, but I can't quite remember, and the picture doesn't show enough to tell. Yep their twins, and identical. And no, I didn't take this either, hence why she has Paisley, I was busy with Emma, so JP stole the camera.

JP and Emma, later after she changed out of her pretty dress. Yep, it's Emma again, somehow JP and I always end up with Emma and never Paisley, go figure. She's a little tired now. They are charming babies, and of course, JP spent most of the time playing and ogling at the babies.

17,280 minutes

The moon bag. JP got this moon bag as part of a deal/promotion thing when he lived in Snow Gardens back at Snow College. Now it is my nap place, it's very comfy. I spend a great deal of my time cuddled up on it. And yes, I realize that I've got three different shades of blue going on there and I'm probably violating some rule of color matching. If you saw our living room pretty much nothing matches, not any of the furniture, frames, decorations or what not. That's the beauty of being a newlywed and relying on most of your stuff being gifts, hand-me-downs or old stuff. It works.

15,840 minutes

The stack of posters that I spent the evening hanging up around campus for Disney. 

Hey look, and I'm breaking tradition by posting this much earlier than normal. Go me!

14,400 minutes

Today there is lots of pictures... I think that's okay. I missed the bus today (hey, only my second time ever this semester, I'm doing pretty good). It was snowing this morning, which I was kind of happy about 'cause I'd been missing the snow, and Logan in snow just looks cool, though I wasn't happy about having to walk to school in it. But I took a lot of pictures of my walk to campus.

The corridor of snow covered trees. They look so cool, but I swear they wait until someone is right underneath them to drop snow.

Frozen creek.

Old Main. I hate that hill. Anyone who has ever walked up it will understand when I says that totally counts as my exercise for the day. You get all aspects, muscle building, cardio and aerobic, endurance and stamina, as well as balance on icy days. 

Barely visible mountains through all the snow and clouds. The second picture you can hardly see it, but there is a very big mountain, bigger than the first, that is hiding and slowly fades into the fog.

12,960 minutes

My new best friend.

JP says it looks like I photoshopped the bottle in. I agree, so I just have to clarify that I didn't. 

11,520 minutes

DJ, JP's old roomate, and a good friend was in Logan, so he stopped by and visited us. It was a lot of fun, DJ is always a riot.

10,080 minutes

How come it seems like everyone else is in and out of hospitals, and I am in perfect condition? I am supposed to be feeling sick because I'm pregnant, and everyone keeps asking me how I feel, and yet, I'm fine, I don't feel sick at all. I don't take care of my body like I should, and I've done so many stupid things, I should've had something go wrong somewhere. I've been very lucky. I'm not complaining, I'm grateful I've been so blessed. I just wish that I could share my luck and health with others.

8,640 minutes

I realized something, almost everyone everywhere that is doing this 365 are artistic people. And I'm just me, art or creativity are not my strong points. I'm just doing this for the sake of it.

Today, I tried to find something around the house that would represent me. I failed, quite miserably actually. I was like, wow, Britain come on, what describes you, who are you. With all the interviews I've been through that ask, "Tell me about yourself," I should be so much better at this. But I was not, I couldn't figure out what item would describe me.

And then I had an epiphany. Duh, Britain, there's not one item or word that describes you. There are lots of different things that make up who you are. I spent a great deal of my life avoiding labels, mocking stereotypes, and trying to break out of the boxes people put me in. Yet, I was trying to label myself, I thought I'd figured out a long time ago that labels don't work, real people are a bit more complex. But apparently I forgot that.

So here is this figurine. The cat in the dog dish. A friend gave this to me a while ago and said it reminded her of me. Originally I was confused, but I thought it was cute. Now, I think I understand a bit. I am not what you want label me as, and no matter what you call me, I'll always just be me. And maybe I relate to that kitten a little bit. I'm going to do what I want to do, whether or not it fits what stereotype I'm in, or if it's what someone else thinks I should do. The rules of society need to be broken every once in a while. Occasionally you need to defy the image that the world has given you. Be you, no matter what. To quote Shakespeare, "To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

This is me. Britain. Not just a pretty face or a nerd. Not a goth or a prep. Not a hick or just any other stereotype. I'm all and none. I'm just a young girl trying to find her place in the world and carve out the life she wants. I am determined and headstrong with head full of dreams. I love to learn, fascinated by almost all things biological and medical. I'm a hopeless romantic who wants hugs and to know I'm loved for who I am. I can be reserved, and it may take a while before I'll open up. I am very analytical, which often comes across as critical. I will be very passionate and resolute once I wholly decide on a path or cause. I will rise to challenges that are put in front of me, though I might not spare you the complaining. I will always believe in trying with all you can to reach your goals and perseverance. I'm mischievous, sarcastic and not above playing mind games. I procrastinate and over dramatize. I definitely have my opinions and they can be blunt and untactful. I am obstinate. I have my argumentative and mean streak. I am confident, even so I can still have my insecure moments. I grew up in a small town, and I love that. I enjoy the water, reading and animals. I believe in the right to dress up pretty, and to dress down. I'm beautiful, and intelligent. I am a scientist and religious. And I am so much more. I have my qualities, I have my faults. I am a daughter of God, and a human being with potential. This is me, and I'm proud of who I am. And I'm going to keep discovering who I am and changing as life goes on. If you don't like it, deal.

PS Yeah, it's a really long rambling post. It's what happens when I'm all alone for several days.