Friday, February 6, 2009

8,640 minutes

I realized something, almost everyone everywhere that is doing this 365 are artistic people. And I'm just me, art or creativity are not my strong points. I'm just doing this for the sake of it.

Today, I tried to find something around the house that would represent me. I failed, quite miserably actually. I was like, wow, Britain come on, what describes you, who are you. With all the interviews I've been through that ask, "Tell me about yourself," I should be so much better at this. But I was not, I couldn't figure out what item would describe me.

And then I had an epiphany. Duh, Britain, there's not one item or word that describes you. There are lots of different things that make up who you are. I spent a great deal of my life avoiding labels, mocking stereotypes, and trying to break out of the boxes people put me in. Yet, I was trying to label myself, I thought I'd figured out a long time ago that labels don't work, real people are a bit more complex. But apparently I forgot that.

So here is this figurine. The cat in the dog dish. A friend gave this to me a while ago and said it reminded her of me. Originally I was confused, but I thought it was cute. Now, I think I understand a bit. I am not what you want label me as, and no matter what you call me, I'll always just be me. And maybe I relate to that kitten a little bit. I'm going to do what I want to do, whether or not it fits what stereotype I'm in, or if it's what someone else thinks I should do. The rules of society need to be broken every once in a while. Occasionally you need to defy the image that the world has given you. Be you, no matter what. To quote Shakespeare, "To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

This is me. Britain. Not just a pretty face or a nerd. Not a goth or a prep. Not a hick or just any other stereotype. I'm all and none. I'm just a young girl trying to find her place in the world and carve out the life she wants. I am determined and headstrong with head full of dreams. I love to learn, fascinated by almost all things biological and medical. I'm a hopeless romantic who wants hugs and to know I'm loved for who I am. I can be reserved, and it may take a while before I'll open up. I am very analytical, which often comes across as critical. I will be very passionate and resolute once I wholly decide on a path or cause. I will rise to challenges that are put in front of me, though I might not spare you the complaining. I will always believe in trying with all you can to reach your goals and perseverance. I'm mischievous, sarcastic and not above playing mind games. I procrastinate and over dramatize. I definitely have my opinions and they can be blunt and untactful. I am obstinate. I have my argumentative and mean streak. I am confident, even so I can still have my insecure moments. I grew up in a small town, and I love that. I enjoy the water, reading and animals. I believe in the right to dress up pretty, and to dress down. I'm beautiful, and intelligent. I am a scientist and religious. And I am so much more. I have my qualities, I have my faults. I am a daughter of God, and a human being with potential. This is me, and I'm proud of who I am. And I'm going to keep discovering who I am and changing as life goes on. If you don't like it, deal.

PS Yeah, it's a really long rambling post. It's what happens when I'm all alone for several days.


Lois Lane said...

It's okay that your Project 365 stuff isn't crafty. The point is to document each day of your life, and you are doing that. I think it's great. Kinda wished I'd known about this, but I'm OCD enough that I would have to go back in time and start on Jan. 1st.

Brit said...

This is why I waited until Feb 1st. I'm just enough OCD that I couldn't start in the middle of Janruary, but the first of February worked 'cause it was the first of a month and week.